Christmas Montage

Oh, hello blog!  December essentially swallowed me up, and I have carelessly neglected you for the better part of a month.  Well...I also dropped my personal computer and cracked the LCD screen and it is just now getting fixed by the GENIUSES at the Genius bar (to the tune of $300.  Vomit.). I tried to hold out until it was fixed so I didn't have to upload my pictures to my work computer, but my camera is now full, so it's time again to blog.

Because I waited so so long to blog about most of Christmas events they will be presented to the world in a short montage with some biting (humorous?) comments to ease the pain of what will probably come across like a modern day slide show.  Hold on to your hats.  Also, MERRY CHRISTMAS (four days later).

 

For some reason I decided that I am a candy maker.  

Lots of people received homemade caramel for their Christmas present.  You see, caramel is cheap AND delicious.  I think it was a hit, and if it wasn't, no one let on, as the TRUE meaning of Christmas is pretending to like gifts you'd actually like to send back.  Way to go, family!

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The Norrells had a party.  They are some of my most hilarious/wonderful friends.  Kristy is world's best homemaker.  She made EVERYTHING in the pictures above.   It's too bad she's not Mormon because she would be really good at the whole house-wifery and feeding large numbers of people thing.

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Lee is 26!

Happy Birthday Lee!

You don't actually read my blog, so you may never know that this is here for you, but just in case, Happy Birthday!

 We went to Mikuni for dinner!  Yummy AND fun.  If it's your birthday (and it WAS Lee's) you get to spin the prize wheel.  I was nervous he was going to win the bag of rice, which is an actual option, but NO, behold:

 THE HACHIMAKI!

(I didn't know what it was either)

Turns out, it's a bandanna.

What a lucky guy!

Coming to a Christmas Card Near You

There is no one in the world like camp friends.  Some of my other friends don't understand this statement and I know that it can sound a little hurtful, but the truth is that the bonds formed between people who have experienced summer camp together is completely unique.  Not better, but totally distinctive.  So when three of our camp friends said they were coming for a sleep over, Lee and I were beside ourselves.  We knew we were in for fun. (Typically, of the unspeakable variety).

Stephanie, Katie Cowie, and Tamara showed up in a swirl of cute clothes, squeals of glee, and perfectly mismatched luggage.  They were stopping through on their way to San Francisco to help Stephanie move into her new apartment.  Katie Cowie announced she ONLY brought dresses for the entire affair. (Let's hear it for living it up in the City right out of college!) We dined, we attempted to do Christmas karaoke, and we dressed up in odd red and green themed costumes to really embrace the holiday spirit.  Observe:

 I suggested that Lee try looking a little less

like a serial killer.

 Merry Christmas!

Love,

The McBlacks

 Holiday Horrors

And this is my friend Tamara.

Ha.

Ha ha ha ha!

I love lamp.

I mean...

CAMP.

Adventures in Dirty Underwear

When one signs on to be a Kindergarten teacher there are many things that are not outlined in the job description.  A Kindergarten teacher has to be a therapist, a social worker, a parent, a professional singer, make good hand-puppets, be able to "take her thumb off" and, sometimes, if no one is throwing a tantrum, teach.  Also, check underwear for poop.  Oh, did you catch that last one?  That's right, I said CHECK UNDERWEAR FOR POOP.

Today when one of my students was in the bathroom he started screaming from within the stall, "Teacher. Teacher!"  While this would alarm most people, I didn't bat an eye, as this particular student ALWAYS screams my name from the bathroom stall because he is not able to snap the button on his pants.  It is my job to snap the snap, but definitely his job to put on his belt, as he reminds me every time I come to do the snapping, "Teacher, you do the snap, I do the belt!"  Right, got it.

So while the cries for help from inside the bathroom stall were not out of the ordinary, today's screech seemed slightly more desperate.  He was SCREAMING, "TEACHER!!!! TEACHER!!!!!!!!"   Not wanting to keep the snap un-snapped for more time than was necessary, I went into the bathroom and attempted to open the stall door.  It was locked.

Knock, knock, knock...
Me: "Um, Johnny*" (*name changed to shield this child from possible future embarrassment).
Johnny: "Who is it?"
Me: "Well, it's me, Maestra Robin.  You were screaming my name.  Do you need me to snap your pants?"
Johnny: "No. I think I went ca-ca in my pants.  But my mommy taught me how to wipe myself."
Me: "Great, I'm glad you know how to wipe yourse- wait...did you poop your pants?"
Johnny: "I don't know.  I can't see."
Me: "Why can't you see?"
Johnny: "Because they're stuck."
Me: "What's stuck?"
Johnny: "My underwear."

I did some quick mental math and realized what the stuck-ness of the underwear added up to, so I said,

"Yeah, it sounds like you had an accident."
Johnny: "Can you check?"
Me: sigh..."Yes.  But you're going to need to unlock the door."
Johnny: "OK, but don't open it all the way because I don't want the kids to SEE me."

So I squeezed my head and one arm through the tiniest sliver of a crack in the stall door to investigate just what was going on.  Upon further "inspection" it was determined that Johnny had, in fact, "went ca-ca in his pants."

Me: "Yes, you do have some poop in there."
Johnny (who has started to cry): "Oh no.  Am I in trouble?"
Me: "No!  It was an accident, it's OK.  Stay in here, I'm going to get you new underwear."
Johnny (Who stops crying, suddenly very excited): "Are you going to my house?!"
Me: "No, we have extra underwear in the office.  I'm going to call Sandy so she can bring them over."
Johnny: "Ok, but do they have super heroes on them?  Because I like super heroes."
Me: "I'm not sure.  I'll make sure to ask."

Five minutes later our school counselor (who is wonderful!) appears with a new pair of boxers, apologizing because it is the only thing the office currently has in the way of loaner underpants.  I assured her that it was fine, and she presented the brand new threads to Johnny.

Johnny:"Hey, THOSE aren't underwear!"
Me: "Yes, these are underwear."
Johnny: "NO!  Those don't have super heroes!  They are big!"
Me: "This is a different kind of underwear.  They don't have super heroes, but they are still underwear.  They are called boxers."
Johnny: "HEY!  I know about those!"
Me: "Great, well go ahead and put these on."

So our school counselor helped Johnny change into the new non-super hero boxers while I hurried all of the other kids into their coats and back-packs to go home (because, of course, an incident like this would occur right as the parents are about to show up to pick up their children).

When Johnny's mother arrived to get him I presented her with the old underwear wrapped carefully in a plastic bag, while Johnny danced around behind me and periodically grabbed his crotch crying, "Mommy, I LOVE boxers!  It's OK if they don't have super heroes!  I went ca-ca in my pants!  Am I in trouble?  Was I good today, teacher?  Can I play computer tomorrow?"

So, yeah, that was Wednesday.

Camera Found! Holiday Shwag Created!

My camera has been found.  It was hiding in the couch cushion just as I had suspected.

More importantly, I spent the whole weekend doing Christmas-y things and watching movies (The Sting loved and The Big Chill meh).

I've always known that I love Martha Stewart, and I don't even care about the whole prison thing.  As far as I'm concerned, she left that prison in a blaze of glory with perfectly folded sheets and passed the warden a hand written thank-you note (on beautiful stationary with die-cut corners, no less).  That prison has probably never smelled better, nor experienced such expertly crafted center pieces in the cafeteria.  So, yes, I love Martha Stewart, but I've recently gotten really into her website.  It has delicious, fairly easy recipes, and they are always so cute and creative.

Being that it is nearly Christmas, I opted to make the Candy Cane Marshmallows.  Wow, I never knew marshmallows were so cute or so delicious.  Go me! (Or, I guess Martha.  I love you, Martha.)

 You have to let your marshmallows congeal in a pan dripping with cooking spray.

Delicious.

Then, you cut the marshmallows into a hot-chocolate-flavoring size.

Finally, you store your marshmallows in a jam jar because you wish you were Martha Stewart.

In a less edible endeavor, I've decided that I want to have a lot of home-made holiday decorations.

I saw this garland on anthropologie.com, and I think it's pretty cute.

But do you want to know how much it is?  

$128.00.  

That's a lot of money for some holiday cheer.

Please see expensive garland here.

Not wanting to blow my entire Christmas wad on one home made-ish item, I went on an excursion to Michaels and compiled these materials:

• ribbon
• felt
• bandanas
• hot glue
• yarn

 I laid them all out on my desk so I could take a picture of them for the blog :)

Next, I cut the bandanas into triangles, glued a contrasting ribbon on top for trim, and glued letters that I cut out of felt on front.

Then I hot-glued them to a piece of yarn.

Ta da!

Speaking of my desk...

I found this desk at Excellent Williams (Good Will),

 painted it the color of macaroni, and added cute knobs.

And radioactive desk was born!

The Best Part of the Holidays

First of all, I can't find my camera, which is making the blogging a little difficult, but a large-scale search involving the depths of the couch cushions and the bottom of a pile of laundry is being launched tomorrow, so to be continued on that.

More importantly, Christmas season is here!

I really love Christmas.  I love the smells, I love snow, I love scarves, I love the trees, and the presents, and the magic.  (I really do think it's magic).  This year; however, I've found something that I think I love most of all:  The Holiday Target Lady.  You can check out all of the commercials here, but I warn you to do so with an empty bladder.  I nearly pee myself every time one of these flashes across the TV.

Darn It.

Last night I made two dozen pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.  My camera is lost, so I can't really share the visual splendor that were these cupcakes, but trust me, they were AWESOME.  We're talking delicious ingredients from scratch, and cinnamon and powdered sugar everywhere.  I used my mechanical icing tube-thing from Williams and Sonoma, so the frosting was shot onto those cupcakes with some extra fancy.  I'm not even ashamed to admit that I had more than one taste of the frosting AND the batter while I was making them.  They were super delicious, and they turned out better than I could have hoped.  Thank you, Martha Stewart.  No, literally, I got the recipes from her.  See?: Pumpkin Cupcakes and Cream Cheese Frosting.

I made these cupcakes for a very special occasion.  I was invited to go on a "Ladies Trip," which included myself, my mom, and a bunch of family/friends who have had a hand in raising me.  I've always been well, not an adult, until now, so I was never invited on these fun weekends before now. Before now.  Now that I am an adult, I got the invite to go to Margie's cabin in Arnold with some of the funniest ladies that I know.  I was so excited, and I couldn't wait to go.

That was, until this morning, when I woke up and felt this terrible pain in my ear (chronic ear infections=the cross I bear).  I tried to convince myself that it was nothing, and were I not in the throws of testing my students for report cards next week (That's right.  Kindergarteners have to be tested for report cards.  NOT my idea), I would have stayed home to try and sleep it off.  As the day wore on the tests were administered (One by one because, it turns out, five year olds can't read), the paper turkeys were cut, and a billion little questions were answered, it became apparent that I was sick.  Like, really.  I felt like someone was drilling a hole through my ear, and one of my students even said to me, "Maestra Robin, I know your head hurts because you are holding it and you're making that face."  This was not good news.

After work I drove to our designated meeting spot for the camping caravan, sad with the knowledge that I probably wouldn't be going.  After some short conversations, a few peeks inside my ear, and an exchange of cupcakes, I decided to stay in Sacramento.  It was terrible, but not as terrible as driving two plus hours and then ruining everyone's vacation because I was sick.

I got home, ran into my room, and cried on my bed.  I hate it when things don't work out.

Luckily, Lee Black is always up to saving the day. I happen to have world's greatest boyfriend who hugs me and offers to bring me pain killers, ginger ale and grapefruit juice (or, as it's known around the McBlack house: Gin and Juice), and Thai food.  It's nice to know that if I can't be with one person I love that there is another one waiting in line to bring me take-out and the finest on-sale American sake a full time law student can buy.

I miss my mom.

And I love Lee.